Tuesday: Rest & Contemplation

We were planning on meeting John for our Stuef workout, but when John heard about soreness, he concluded we should move up our day of rest. Yay rest.

I’ve thought more about this blog and why I am compelled to chronicle what we’re doing. I guess what it boils down to is that I’m trying to learn the lessons my mom’s been hammering into my head for years.

It’s interesting reading about other folks’ experiences with family, particularly regarding weight. There are stories of being on forced diets since childhood, moms obsessing over kid food choices, monetary rewards for weight loss, ugly and hateful words being spewed. But my experience with parents and weight was much different. My mom has always told me that I’m beautiful. She has never looked disapproving and said, “Maybe you shouldn’t eat that.” She’s been supportive of me in every decision I’ve made regarding weight, food choices, exercise and counting calories.

So the diets I went on, the appointments with endocrinologists and specialist, and the memberships to Jenny Craig or others of that ilk, they were my idea. They were my attempt to “fix a problem” that would make me attractive, desirable, popular, and successful in my peer group. When I think back, for a good 20 years, I’ve been trying to fix the same problem for the same reasons.

But I can’t sing the typical therapy tune and blame my mom for all this baggage. I can’t really blame media either as my rather granola mom had us listening to classical music and watching PBS. It is my doing. I listened to those around me in school and formed my body image based on their standards. I chose (consciously or otherwise) not to listen to my mom, the person who knows me best.

So, it’s time to grow up and listen to my mom. My mom told me I was loved and lovable because God doesn’t make junk. She told me that girls in magazines and on TV had nothing better to do than work out, spend money, and get photos airbrushed. She told me that there was a difference between being healthy and being skinny and that I should strive for healthy and let the chips fall where they may.

And twenty years later, I’m starting to believe her….. hence this blog.